To un-friend, or not to un-friend? You know the type of people on Facebook who share way too much about their lives, who annoy you, offend you, try to chat while you’re busy. Un-friending them should be as easy as clicking a button, right? Often, it’s not so easy from a social perspective because you might see them every day.
Great friends and colleagues can be supportive, harmless, energetic and fun to hang around. But what about those people who complicate your life, constantly complain, or expect too much of you?
Un-Friend People From Your Online and Offline Life
Un-friending someone may be entirely justified if …
1. They Suck The Life Right Out Of You
These people leave you psychologically and emotionally down after spending any amount of time with them. Positive friends should leave you feeling uplifted, not feeling guilty through emotional blackmail.
2. They Are Self-Centered
Selfish people only think about themselves and complain about being wronged all the time. Yet, when something happens to you, they don’t care or they swing the conversation back to themselves.
3. They Don’t Support You
You have some awesome ideas and wouldn’t it be great if your friends would be supportive and help you achieve your goals? It’s time to un-friend those who constantly put you down or flippantly brush away your ideas as stupid or too ambitious.
Great friend are great listeners and help guide you on the right path in a positive manner.
4. They Are Immoral Scum
What are you doing hanging out with people who don’t have a moral bone in their body? Perhaps they take joy in trampling over people’s lives, stealing their possessions, causing hardship and anguish. If they’re up to no good, un-friend them quickly.
5. You’re Just Too Different
You two are like chalk and cheese, oil and water, fire and ice. You don’t share any real interests and have different life values. This absolutely doesn’t mean they’re a bad person or they’re wrong. It just means they’re not right for you.
6. They Are Unreliable
Broken promises can break hearts. Are they constantly late to pick you up, late to special events, or don’t turn up at all? They promised to pay you back that $5, but never did? Often, being unreliable is a sign of disrespect. Any respectable person would make a concerted effort to be on time, pay back borrowed money and just simply keep their promises.
7. They Only Contact You When They Need Something
Weeks or months go by without hearing from someone you consider a friend and you’ll occasionally break the gap by saying “hi”. But the only times they’ll initiate contact with you is when they need something, ask a favor or need to let off steam. Otherwise, you’d never hear from them.
8. They Don’t Meet You Half Way
Are you the one always calling your friend, and they never call you? You’re the one always driving them around, buying them lunch, making them feel happy. Is that fair? They should return the favor, otherwise it may be time to un-friend.
9. They Are Jealous
Jealousy is described as the green-eyed monster. It’s toxic and can hurt relationships. Instead of being happy for you, jealous people want what you have and may even try to take it from you.
10. They Are Lazy
If you are lazy, then it’s all fine and good to hang out with other lazy people. But if you have any ambition to get things done, don’t catch the lazy-bug. As the saying goes,
“You can’t soar like an eagle when you hang out with turkeys.”
11. They Drive You Insane!
You know these people? They think they’re always right. They annoy the crap out of you. They talk too much, ask too many questions, eat like a slob, pick their nose, bite their fingernails. They drive you insane! They might still be good people deep down, but you two just don’t gel.
12. They Are Negative
Everything is wrong and bad to negative people. They are miserable and try to make you miserable too. They’re more than a nuisance, they are parasitic.
13. You Are Their Possession
Not allowed to spend time or talk to other people, without your “friend’s” permission or presence? Ouch. True friends don’t try to prevent you from having other friendships.
How To Un-Friend On Facebook
First, share this post on facebook and hope they take note:
Facebook Etiquette Mistakes People Keep Making.
Then, go to the person’s profile and click on the ‘Friends’ button. A menu should drop down where you can select ‘unfriend’. Do it.
How To Un-Friend In Real Life
- Be gentle and be nice even though it’s not a nice thing to do.
- Do it in person or on the phone. Don’t do it by text, wall post, email or instant message. Actually speak to them.
- Don’t let the other person control the conversation. Make your agenda known right from the start. “Hi, I have something I want to talk to you about.”
- Be brief but give a good and honest reason without being too hurtful.
- Once it’s all out there and the other person understands what has happened, don’t hang around. Say goodbye and leave.
Break-ups can be brutal, especially for friends. In the end, it may be a good thing for both of you. If you are adamant that the friendship should be over forever,
- Don’t answer their calls or texts,
- Only respond to emails or messages stating “I’ve made my position clear. I’m sorry.”
If you can’t avoid seeing them, like a coworker or classmate, try to keep things professional and civil.
Make new friends worth having. Be a good friend yourself.